Divorce is a hard and trying time for the people involved. Complications often occur and depending on the reasons as to why the marriage is coming to an end there are often bitter feelings between the separated couple and when a child is involved matters often spiral even worse.

The love between a child's parents and the love that they express to the child is everything that the child knows so when divorce is thrown into the equation the results equal traumatic. Your child will go through a series of emotions when the news that divorce is occurring reaches them, which is why it is important that you tell your child in the correct manner and you reassure them.

Divorce is sadly becoming a common event within families and if children are involved there is a lot more at stake than just a marriage. Consistency to a child is highly important; a loss of routine and a change in your child's daily habits can have an impact on your child's life. The reaction of a child to the news of divorce can vary depending on the child's age and ability to accept what is going on. It is evident that younger children have a harder time dealing with divorce as they can't fully understand what is happening.

When it comes to a child's reaction to divorce there are certain emotions that your child will go through starting with grieving. Your child will grieve the loss of family and the daily presence and attention of two parents. After grief comes denial of what is happening. Your child will ignore the fact that the divorce is going on and will refuse to believe that it is happening.

With denial then comes realization of what is happening, which will result in mourning, depression, mood swings as well as changes in behavior and anger towards you as parents for allowing the divorce to happen.

Finally your child will understand and start to accept what is happening to their family. You must however remember the importance of answering your child's questions about what is happening and reassures your child that both you and your partner still love them; this is crucial in reassuring your child that everything will be ok; things will be different but they will be ok.

One of the most important aspects to remember when your family is going through a divorce is to never involve your child within the reasons as to why the divorce is happening. You should tell your child about the divorce in a calm and reassuring manner. It is also important that both parents are present when informing a child about divorce so that the child is reassured that both parents still love them and that the divorce is not their fault.

You should never argue or express hate/ill feeling towards your partner in front of your child, no matter what the reasons are as to why the divorce is taking place. This would only hurt your child and make them feel as though the divorce was their fault as well as making the child feel as though neither parent loved them anymore.

It is highly important that you tell your child about the divorce at the right time, do not rush into this and ensure that both you and your partner are present. After informing your child of the divorce you should try and involve them in the proceedings as little as possible and try to carry on your child's daily routine as much as you can to help minimize the effect the divorce will have on your child.

The quiet victims of divorce-the children.When people start a new relationship, it is as though Cinderella and her Prince stepped out of that childhood story. A more realistic way to look at it is to think of it as two people who are running for office, campaigning to be in the other person's life.

Forget that it is not who they will be later in life. We are too busy getting the other person to "choose us" so we can live happily ever after. There is, bad habits early on in the relationship we never see. For instance, leaving dirty clothes scattered, drinking directly out of the juice carton, putting a dirty knife back in the drawer and watching from around the corner as they lick it clean, washing is too much effort.

Both sides hide their bad habits when they begin dating, because they are too busy running for the highest office in the country, ultimately the office of marriage and parenthood.This fantasy life fades as people grow together in a relationship. Unfortunately, about sixty percent grow apart during the marriage.

When the marriage ends, it is like a house set on fire. All desired hopes, dreams and commitment cherished by both sides, up in smoke. But, we forget that the child of this relationship has yet to lay the foundation of their lives.

Divorce on any level, is devastating. For children, their warm, safe world is suddenly shattered like a broken toy, in many pieces. When parents begin to divorce, do they really stop and think about the children? All too often, the children fall under the invisible heading of "power base" or worse yet, "negotiable".

A child's life during a divorce is like a roller coaster, going up minute and down the next. Parents are keeping score of their child's affection as though they were at a sporting event. Both parents fear losing ground as though their competition, the other parent, chips away at their own individual "power base". This is an automatic reaction during a divorce. If only parents would stop for a moment and realize, that children have unconditional love for each of them.

Children were not beamed down from space to earth. They were conceived and brought into this world with the greatest expectations, and most of all love. By two people, the child calls mother and father. These two people have forgotten that being a parent, role model and teacher, means not putting down the other. Or using the children to emotionally beat up the "competition". Because, being a parent is a privilege!

A divorce is like a funeral. Of course, there is no casket or service. But the process is the same. "Funeral" services begin when the parties enter their lawyers office, (I call them legal funeral representatives) they help prepare for the death of their clients marriage.

The lawyers seek out personal, confidential information about you, only to file it in a public record for the world to see. Attached to this public record filing is a detailed financial description, (yours) of personal property and assets acquired during the marriage.

Somewhere between page 11 or 15 of the divorce agreement, your children are listed, like an asset, by name and age. And on yet another page, you will find the "children", stating who gets custody when, on what days, with specific times and for how long. Cannot forget the holiday schedules, this appears on yet another page of the divorce decree. This page looks more like a major event schedule, trading odd and even years off during the holidays.

If parents would think for a moment and get off their "power base", they should be able to work out these very private details among themselves.Months, and in some cases years later a judge, who I refer to as the coroner (no disrespect intended) sit before these strangers, in a court of law, with people who once vowed to love, honor and cherish each other all the days of their lives, ask if all parties are in agreement, with the tap of his gavel, signs the death certificate (known more commonly as the divorce decree.

I for one think this process is a crime. We allow total strangers to settle our once very happy lives. The greater crime, however, is the children, divided up among the parents like a piece of property. They are the "Voiceless Victims."