Stacy Phillips, Los Angeles celebrity divorce attorney and author of "Divorce: It's All About Control How To Win the Emotional, Psychological and Legal Wars," (www.controlyourdivorce.com) is concerned about those divorced couples with children who may be tempted to play "divorce war games" with one another over the holidays - using the kids as collateral damage. She offers them the following 10 tips:
1. Try therapy. If you are stressing over the emotional duress of the holiday season head to your therapist for some "centering."
2. Forgo the "one-upsmanship" game: Don't try to "out-do" the other parent with gifts because it makes the kids feel torn.
3. Be flexible. Give in a little with the visitation schedule.
4. Include others. Be the bigger person and include your ex-spouse's new significant other in the festivities, even if you do not like him/her.
5. Be charitable to those less fortunate: Ask your children to join you in a kind act for the needy. It will divert your focus away from your own hurt or pain.
6. Spend more time with friends and family. See what you and your children can do to make their holidays more cheery.
7. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Enough said!
8. Show the children what the holidays really mean. They are all about giving.
9. Dwell on the overall theme: No matter what your spiritual beliefs may be, harmony is the ultimate goal. It starts with you.
10. Make plans for the New Year: Dwell on what good will come after the holidays and let the children help you schedule some fun events that you can do together. Stacy D. Phillips, managing partner at Phillips, Lerner, Lauzon & Jamra, Los Angeles, is a certified family law specialist and author of "Divorce: It's All About Control How to Win the Emotional, Psychological and Legal Wars." Phillips represents business executives, homemakers, and celebrities in film, television, music, sports, and politics.